| (no subject) |
[Jan. 6th, 2010|12:38 pm] |
so i was informed by alex today that i am in a few pages of his new book
Link to view/buy!
that is so super exciting i don't even know what to say!
and i'm totally flattered.
he just lost his job at Tavern on the Green cause they're closing ( :,( ) so he could use the financial support of selling some copies. he has a ton of free time and wants to shoot more. i haven't done any modeling since the summer and it could be a lot of fun. i'm into it. :)
.life basically gets more happy and fantastic every day.
i'm a little lost about him.
i wish that i could say just one thing
everything.
talia said it's pointless to reflect
that i did everything i could
i loved every way i knew how
i dealt with things maturely
when most people wouldn't deal with them at all
i cared so much, i wanted him to get help and be okay
i still do
it was draining me
.i know it was.
.sometimes, i can't help it.
i just wish
i wish it happened all kinds of differently |
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| beach bitches |
[Jan. 6th, 2010|11:16 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the cream | ] |
also im in this, it opens tomorrow
 |
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| .fear the flow. |
[Jan. 5th, 2010|12:52 pm] |
my friends Kenny (Melissa's boyfriend - there's pictures of him in my last entry :) ) and Zimbo are in a video On Demand -> Free -> Music -> Urban. rockin' it out.
this is a video of us jamming a week ago :)
The Jam #1
The Jam #2
i'm really fucking proud of them and this song is phenominal
long beach represent!
support and share the love!
♥
last night was absolutely insane
i have a huge headache and i love talia and i love chris and i love raelie
confessions, confessions, confessions
sigh
life is jdfklasjfklajkfa
i lovelovelovelove everything
:D |
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| KNIT BONNET HAT WOOO |
[Jan. 5th, 2010|09:32 am] |
i finished my hat! i started knitting a version of A Beautiful Mess' Snow Day Hat maybe 30 hours ago, and in 6 or 7 knitting sessions, i finished it just now : )
( more pictures! )
x-posted to my journal, 20sknitters, craftgrrl & punk_knitters :)
(sorry if you have to see my face a million times!) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 5th, 2010|03:42 am] |
(via my mom's computer since the internet isn't hooked up in my room right now)
i haven't been sleeping well lately. it's been getting so cold in the house at night now. that, or it's all the crapy food i've been eating and all the exercise i'm not getting. or maybe both, i don't know. i haven't been falling asleep 'til late then i sleep 'til eleven or noon or later and i'm tired throughout the day, which makes it harder to concentrate on getting anything done (and i already can't concentrate). i need to get my sleep schedule back on track though so i can actually wake up early though, since i have an appointment on thursday i have to be up early for anyway. and i'll have to wake up early every day anyway if i get a job. i'm still filling out applications and hoping there's at least something hiring. i don't know if it's going to work out in my favor though. but i need to keep trying. i guess i'm just paranoid i'll finally find a job and it'll work out for a while and then i'll find some way to screw it up because that's what's seemed to happen so far. i don't really want to get kicked out again. but i know my parents are getting tired of me again. so i have to keep trying. i need to take things more seriously, but at the same time not so seriously that i don't take them seriously at all. i wish i knew if my medication was working.
i was finally able to sit through an entire movie last night, wristcutters: a love story. i hadn't ever seen it before. i liked it, even though it didn't really seem to go anywhere. i liked patrick fugit's character. and i would have liked the character of eugene more if he was actually played by eugune hutz instead of just being based on him. and michael cera was a guest on letterman last night, which was awesome. now i kind of want to see youth in revolt on friday, even though i doubt i'll even have a small chance of being able to. i am such a dork. and i'm watching xiu xiu videos on youtube again, which is making me even more excited for their new album. too bad it doesn't come out 'til february. i sent jamie stewart another poem in an email but i haven't heard back from him yet. he's busy. oh well.
i miss you :( ...but you already knew that. <3 |
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| .happy birthday isaac newton!. |
[Jan. 4th, 2010|10:48 am] |
i just realized that there are two different kinds of people:
people who call them coffee cups
and people who call them tea cups |
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| i'll let you be in your dream if i can be in mine |
[Jan. 4th, 2010|10:01 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | björk - bath | ] |
my room mate and i had our first party in our apartment on new years
totally out of control dance party
cleanup was easy except for this mysterious handprint on the wall
it looks like whoever left it was dripping in mud |
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| my grandfather's current state |
[Jan. 3rd, 2010|07:40 pm] |
I am exhausted, in every sense of the word. My grandpa, who has had terrible Alzheimer's and dementia for years, has been living in a care home for the past couple of months. Two weeks ago, we found out he had cancer of the small intestine, and that it was very far along. Since then, his health has been declining, and this morning, the nurses called my mom to tell her that he is dying.
So we've been at the care home on and off all day. Ryan and I came home around 1, and I took a 3 hour nap, then went back over. Although I was never that close to my grandpa, even though he lived with us for five years, I still feel pretty terrible.
On the bright side, my brother came home for the holidays on New Year's Day, so I'm excited about that. We have plans to watch a lot of movies.
Also, the reason that I'm so physically tired and took such a long nap is that Olin and I stayed up ti 4am last night, finishing up season 5 of Lost, which is amazing. We planned to sleep in late, but then Ryan called me this morning to tell me about my grandpa, so there went those plans. I'm not sure if I should be talking about a TV show and the imminent death of my grandfather in the same entry. I think this means I am a bad person.
Anyway, in a sense, my grandfather's death will be a huge relief for most of us, most especially my mother, who has been caring for him for the past five years, out of her own pocket, since her older brother is a giant cunt and lifts no finger to help us. Her brother (my uncle Stanley) was even irritated that he has to fly to this island to see my grandpa, as if it's an inconvenience for him to see his father before he dies. Uncle Stanley never even visited in the 5 years that my grandparents were here. This will be the first time.
Some people are just selfish, I guess. |
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| .feel-good foreign comedies. |
[Jan. 3rd, 2010|05:32 pm] |
i am making banana/guinness/walnut/vanilla bread.
there's still a half an hour to go but the whole apartment smells like a country kitchen ♥
possibly talia and definitely ali are coming over later.
i'm taking pictures either way :)
raelie is playing with ice cubes.
i just read over a bunch of texts and my friends love me and i love them so much it makes me sickeningly happy.
i'm watching this documentary on meth and i'm so, so, so happy that i have never done drugs. i watched
last night with chris and was contemplating hallucinogenics (not doing them. just the idea of them). i think i like the concept of LSD because it was an accident and it changed an entire generation. i like that. i like that a lot.
it made me fiiiiiinally want to read my copy of Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail. i'm gonna do that tonight before bed.
i cleaned up and rearranged and decorated my room with some drawings.
once my bread is done i'm going to paint.
my next paycheck i'm gonna get my hurr did.
these are what i have narrowed it down to, colourwise:
( hurrzzz )
who else doesn't wanna go to work tomorrow?
( raise your hand )
.
somewhere, somehow, i do hope he's okay. |
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| .time for trust. |
[Jan. 2nd, 2010|12:34 pm] |
my whole life is full of so much promise and love
i read an email from nicole this morning
i truly wish 2010 is better than any year you've had so far<3. i'm incredibly sad&sorry to think of all of the people and circumstances that have tried very hard to break your faith, but the amazing thing is,
not only do nearly any of those people or circumstances not have the effect they used to on you, if any at all, but that its not come anywhere near the amount of strength and love you have within yourself, and also from others<3
i think that when you have such manipulative, controlling people in your life for so long, your view on things becomes absolutely skewed. often times i felt like i was drowning, with no oxygen left to form my own thoughts or have my own time or enjoy my own things. it takes a long time to see where you have gone to and decide if you want to be there. even longer to decide that it has made you unhappy and you don't. since i realized that i was a little lost i have been so productive and happy and affectionate and honest and open. it's hard to be a truly independent person sometimes, until you realize that really, it's not. there's a good feeling in missing somebody and there's a great feeling in getting rid of somebody and recognizing that even friendships can be detrimental and loving somebody doesn't mean that they belong in your life. discovering that you cannot trust everyone is hard to swallow but totally necessary; i'm so glad that i can recognize it and have the confirmation that eventually everybody gets what they deserve to and life lessons come around.
as usual i have almost no time to breathe, but i love my friends and i love cuddling and i love waking up to raelie and other people's cats and i love kissing and i love dancing and taking photographs and warm baths and being naked.
i love music and the murlyn group and sweden and i love 2010 and mimosas and green tea and warmth and girls and big strong boy arms and being able to love everything, with everyone, and cleaning up my room.
i am so happy and so grateful and so giddy and so excited
and
i can finally share it with everyone
( helter skelter and the adventures of tex watson's unadulterated lovemonster )
i feel like the most beautiful soul on the planet |
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| new dance. old beat. |
[Jan. 2nd, 2010|01:40 pm] |
i guess it's true what they say about satisfaction being the death of desire.
the new year is upon us. i mean it's already here. the big 2010. and it's kinda like the same for me. spent the last few minutes of 2009 working and drawing...could hear the fireworks when it hit midnight but couldn't see nothing but an empty street. went online to check up on friends and read some resolutions and well wishes..asking for everyone to have a good year ahead. saying stuff like "fuck you 2009. hello 2010." when we all know that what goes on for the next 365 days is not up to us. sure we can hope till the cows come home, but we all know.
i just got myself a couple of pretty cool instructional books. books on typography and design and comics. i like learning new things but i don't really have the patience to sit through the whole book or instructional video. like yesterday, i was revamping the site and i decided to screw the wordpress and go get an indexhibit interface...and i was watching this instructional video...and it wasn't like an hour or something...it's like 6 minutes. and theoretically 6 minutes is not a long time...but i found myself forwarding the fucking thing. not wanting to wait till the end. when i know that i'm missing the important bits, you know? it's like i have this unfounded feeling that i'm gonna know what to do by skipping everything else besides the intro and the last 23 seconds of the video. so yeah. that's something i have to work on.
i don't have any shows planned out at this point. well maybe something in march. but we'll see. if you guys wanna know what's up, you could always hit me up on twitter. or facebook.
have a good one, beautiful. |
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| .2010. |
[Jan. 1st, 2010|05:25 pm] |
i love free love |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 31st, 2009|10:41 pm] |
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here's to hoping that 22 will be better than 21. :) |
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| good-bye, 2009! |
[Dec. 31st, 2009|01:17 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | life | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | grant campbell | ] |
All things considered, 2009 was a pretty wonderful year. Olin and I had our ups and downs, but I still love him more than anything. I went to school and got good grades, I learned how to do amazing things on a trapeze, and I got to cuddle with wonderful cats.
I'm not so fond of making resolutions of the New Year, because I think you should be able to make resolutions whenever, but, well, whatever! So here I go:
- Exercise more. Go on long walks or bike rides, & continue to do strength-building for trapeze. Also work on flexibility, also for trapeze.
- Live more sustainably! I get lazy sometimes, but no more!
- Hang out with friends more.
- Do everything 100%.
This coming year I would also like to travel more around the island, read more books, spend wisely, take more pictures, record lots of videos, write in my journal more, be more selfless, and make more music. I can't wait for all my new adventures to start! |
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| .digging up that ancient history. |
[Dec. 30th, 2009|03:06 pm] |
okay
i cant hold it in anymore.
enemy got picked up!!
first the management company is pitching it to gaga in florida on NYE.
then, who knows.
"big projects" is about all they could tell me.
i can't play it for anyone until then which sucks. :/ it's really freaking awesome and i'm SO proud of it.
showed it to mom and some friends, who loved it. :)
i'm so happy. it feels like doing theater and getting picked for the lead but like x69043690436903 million!! it's the best giddy feeling in the whole wide world.
life is wonderful.
i am very secure and contented.
i feel like i am giving spiritual advice on the daily just by breathing.
talia is home.
she's my new years date
and i could not be happier. |
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